Unhappy New Year

Just moments ago my mom took her last breath. She held on for 4 long weeks, the dr. gave her just days on her first trip to the hospital. It is amazing the things that go through you mind when a loved one passes. I am never again going to taste my mom homemade tortillas and refried beans. Her enchiladas, her chili, her baked goods. My mom could cook. She could make anything from scratch on a budget of a few dollars. I remember coming home from school and a batch of chocolate chip cookie bars would be waiting. When my mom was good she was a great mom. She did however suffer from a gripping addition to alcohol. She battled her addition, had good years and bad years. Tonight her liver failed, her kidneys failed and she is now free from her addition and once again reunited with my father, who died 20 years ago. My mom never could get past his early death, also a alcohol related death, his just included a gun. She had a great giggle, a great smile, a heart of gold, and she loved her family.

It starts...

We were outside last night enjoying the warm summer air, trying to catch fireflies and crickets, when it happened. I guess the summer air got to Brady last night. Aidan, Joleah, and Brady were trying to pinpoint the location of a cricket that was singing in the yard, when B tells Joleah, I'm gonna give you a hug. Michael & I looked at each other and giggled. I told Brady he needed to ask for a hug instead of just telling her, so he asked Joleah, Can I give you a hug? She replied, A BIG hug. So they laughed and giggled and flirted and then chased each other around the car and into the street...finally before going inside they had a hug beside the car. It was adorable. The Joleah asked him for a kiss and I told her she better save that for her Frog Prince. I must already teach Brady about kissing girls and the whole Peanut allergy warnings, but I must say it was adorable. I guess the warm night air, under the stars with the crickets singing and fireflies flying above works on little ones too. ;)

30

I turned 30 yesterday, a day I made Michael promise to keep as normal as possible. The boys were rough and rowdy and mean, daddy was his normal self, even mowed the lawn, and I got to be grumpy in my bedroom while watching hgtv. I woke up this morning thinking about all the things I haven't accomplished, when I should be focusing on all the things I have accomplished, like keeping my little Brady safe from peanuts for almost 4 years now. It is amazing how this peanut allergy consumes ones life. Michael & I have actually been bickering because i want things done a certain way, to keep Brady safe, like having him wash his hands at not touching surfaces that might be contaminated. (I know, its a no brainer, but Michael just doesn't get it!)I also check, and recheck products, because processing can change in a day, and I am very aware of peanuts EVERYWHERE! I get eyes rolled at me from Michael daily, but I don't care, I have to do what I have to do.
Now, in the background I hear the boys dancing and singing with the cd from VBS. So cute. They can play a mean air guitar. :) I think that this year I may volunteer to be with the boys so that they can go to VBS and enjoy it, and not cry at drop off and of course I will know that they are SAFE. Well, at 30 I have the mommy thing down...most days.

The OLDS

I was on my way home last night and passed a muscle car on t-hwy. Just the gas exhaust smell brought back memories of Michael's first car, The OLDS. We spent so many wonderful nights cruising up and down Branson. That car was where we spent a lot of time kissing,landing at one of the popular makeout spots. I remember the purr of that car as we cruised down by Sammy Lane Resort. There was that awesome gazebo surrounded by trees right on the lakefront. There is something so sexy about kissin under the stars and weeping willow trees in the steamy summer nights, who needs air conditioning when you have a cool lake breeze?
Another wonderful makeout spot, the tower where we had to climb over a gate and up that dark path, but worth every second sitting at the top of the mountain overlooking the glitzy lights of the town. I have so many wonderful memories of those summers spent with my Michael. I wish I could spend my last night as a 20 year old in the passenger seat of that car one more time, in the steamy Branson summer air, kissing my handsome hubby.

Weight loss challenge

I gave up soda a couple of weeks ago, still waiting to see my waist decrease. I have been power walking and doing some indoor exercises. I am thinking about taking a belly dancing class this summer at the Branson otc campus. I also really want Michael to join me in a ballroom dance class. How sexy to be pressed up against my hubby all night staring into his eyes? (CHILD FREE) It may be time to just accept the body I have and embrace the plush curves. P.S. Text and Pic messaging has done wonders for Michael and I in the bedroom, I would encourage everyone to snap and send a little pic. ;)

SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS Lyrics - ABBA

SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS Lyrics - ABBA

Mamma Kamia

Praise God! Michael was able to decipher my not so subtle hints this Mother's day and bought me the movie Mamma Mia. I sit here listening to the sweet lyrics to Slipping Through My Fingers by Abba. It is amazing how fast my little boys are growing up, I sit back and reminisce about the deliriously sleepy days I can barely remember. Little chubby fingers and tiny bitty toes. First smiles, warm fuzzy little heads, and soft baby bottoms. Now my little boys are turning 4 & 5 in less than a month. They scream and yell and cry, but I love the curious little Aidan who is doing experiments and the crazy little dancing Brady. "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers..."

It expresses exactly how I feel at the moment, the lyrics below! Enjoy!

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see whats in her mind
Each time I think Im close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time